Ms Frizzle's Magic School Bus- round two, chapter uno

Technically I'm writing this from back in the United States. So if you don't think this is legit enough to read anymore I won't be offended. I don't really have an excuse as to why I didn't write it earlier.

Now, use your imagination and transport yourself back three weeks or so. This was the beginning of round deux of Ms. Frizzle's Magic School Bus adventure. By Ms. Frizzle I mean our somewhat vertically challenged academic professor Jerry. I'm just joking, Jerry is a great guy and an amazing teacher. But he is short. The bus was again a big Mercedes bus with a gigantic Flemish driver (Alex, who was the shit).

I packed up my big ass suitcase with enough clothes for 10 days, actually probably 5 days but if wearing underwear twice before you wash it is wrong, I don't want to be right. We departed at 7 am from the closeby bus station. 7 am sounds like a reasonable time to leave, except that at this point in the year its only light outside in Belgium from 8 am to 4pm. Kind of depressing. Our entire first day was spent on the bus, driving to Vienna, Austria.

We drove for at least 12 hours, entertaining ourselves in various ways from playing "Are you smarter than a fifth grader" to watching movies on the bus TVs to trying to sleep spread across two bus seats. It paid to be a tiny little girl this time, they fit perfectly on these seats. For big gangly gingers like me, however, it was more difficult.

Fast forward. We arrived in Vienna. We got in pretty late and wanted to grab some grub. My friend Mike and I walked around the main drag of Vienna and that is when we discovered the beauty of doner. Doner is a basically a big spit of meat. Usually they have beef and chicken, but I'm not totally convinced that they both aren't just horse or something. This first Doner was wrapped up in a kind of tortilla with some veggies, some mystery sauce and some spices. Little did we know that this was to be probably the best doner that we had throughout our eastern europe adventure.

The next day was basically a school day. The cool part of having a school day on vacation in Vienna is that you spend your whole day meeting with semi-important people. We visited the OSCE and then headed over to the UN building in Vienna to hear from the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty Organization and the IAEA. Me being the nuclear physics dork that I am, I loved the IAEA presentation.

UN. Sweet flags bro

Outside of Hapsburg palace in Vienna

Also important to note. This was the beginning of a new trend that we noticed the more east you get: Lady cops. Not only lady cops, hot lady cops. You would think that 'eastern europe' would have big butch women named Helga. Not true. Eastern European women are beautiful and I definitely would have let one take advantage of my American citizenship.

Main square in downtown Vienna

That night, we "went out" in Vienna. By went out I mean we walked across the street to this traveller's bar. What in the hell is a "traveller's bar?" Apparently its the alcohol version of a youth hostel. I wasn't complaining, there were a lot of cool people there and drinks were pretty cheap. I met by boy Alex who is studying in Vienna. The cheap drinks got us in a bit of trouble. The night ended with Mike lighting his balls on fire. Ya not including a picture.

The next day we visited another bullshit human rights organization, Fundamental Rights Organization. I don't know if human rights organizations are easier to schedule for big groups or what, but it seems like all we do is hear about more and more human rights. I guess I shouldn't hate. I don't think human rights are unimportant, it's just not what I'm really into hearing about day in and day out. But the meeting was rather boring. So boring that my friend Zack created several random facts about the FRA. For example, it beat the UNHCR in the annual flag football tournament in 2010. Ok thats absolutely bs but thats how bored we were.

I guess I really shouldn't take going to all these cool places for granted. O well. On to Budapest.

The bus ride was again, ridiculous. We entertained ourselves by equating each member of our program to a Disney character. I don't remember what I was, or maybe I'm just too embarrassed to reveal. Once we arrived in the big bad Pest, we left the hotel and started exploring the city. Budapest is actually two cities: Buda and Pest. So I wasn't being coy when I said big bad Pest.

Big bad parliament in big bad Pest. Seriously, this thing is the world's biggest parliament building

Unfortunately for you, Budapest was the time and place where my camera decided to break, again. I had the same camera before I left for abroad and it broke in the same fashion. Hopefully Cannon will send me another faultily designed piece of junk free of charge. Thanks but no thanks. So any pictures I have from here on out were either taken on my cell phone or straight up stolen from other kids on my program. But hey, if you're gonna put them on facebook I don't feel one ounce of remorse for stealing them.

Budapest was honestly one of my favorite cities. Historically, it's always been under one empire or another (Hapsburg, Ottoman, Communism). Because of this, it has such a distinctive flare. It also has distinctively spicy food that destroyed me from the inside out. Totes worth it though. Hungarian food is freakin delicious. We spent every dinner at the Budapest Christmas markets enjoying some sort of chicken or beef goulash heavily saturated in fat and paprika. Yummm. Possibly the best part of the Christmas market food was the strudels, however. OMG explosions in my mouth.

Mike and I enjoy a delicious strudel. Or three.

Besides the spicy yet destructive food, another great part of Budapest was the longest lasting Ottoman relic: the Turkish baths. While we originally thought we had to bear it all and jump on in the sauna with some old Hungarian dudes, they actually made you wear a bathing suit. While I was mildly disappointed by the fact that I couldn't jump right in to the local custom, the baths proved to be amazing. They had at least ten different options between pools at various temperatures, hot and cold saunas, even an intense dry heat room that you entered from the freezing outdoor air. I also got a massage which was possibly the most homosexual thing I ever experienced. Let's just say the Hungarian masseuse got really close to my butt.

View of Budapest from high up. Check that river Danube

After a relaxing, rejuvenating, and extremely finger-pruning four hours in the baths, we hit up the goulash once more and then started get our drank on. After a few juvenile rounds of never have I ever (I lost every time) we head out for a bar that my boy Paul recommended. Paul studies in Budapest but unfortunately was up in Copenhagen that weekend. Thank goodness that he suggested this bar called Szimpla. One of the best surprises of the entire semester happened at this bar. I turn around and one of my favorite people in the world is standing right in front of me- Jules! Now I already seen Jules thrice this semester, twice when we visited Prague and once when she came to Brussels. But the fact that I just found her in the darkness of a gigantic Hungarian bar was the most amazing feeling.

Jules and I love each other so much!

Ok if you have read all these words so far then props to you. This blog has turned more into me remembering what happened than actually crafting and serving it up for readers. But don't you enjoy when someone actually talks real to you? So many people are so fake on the internet and I'm really not tryna do that.

This marked the end of our time in semi-Western Europe. After this, on to Belgrade. That's when we really got in the shit and entered good ol' Eastern Europe. Stay tuned y'all.

Rome: Where history meets shithole

Now don't be fooled by the title of this post. I really liked Rome. There's no disputing, however, that it is a dirty dirty place, a problem only exacerbated by the presence of dirty italians. O wait, I'm Italian, I can't say that. woops. #sorryimnotsorry.

Let me get my Rome bitching out real fast. It's dirty as shit, the public transport sucks, and you feel like you're in a tourist playground.

Ok, now that I got that out, back to business. We rolled up into Rome and found our way to my friend Nicole's apartment. After dropping our stuff off, Rachel and I set out to explore the immediate area, a section of Rome called Trastevere. It's is the hip, trendy, and up and coming area according to some of my friends. We found some pretty sweet steps aka another opportunity for some bomb ass rachel photography.

so artsy

That night, we randomly chose a little restaurant on the main street in Trastevere. The thing about Italy is that even if you just pick a random place on the street, the food is going to be bomb. We were the only people in this little restaurant around 7pm, much too early for the real italians to eat dinner. I got a pizza, Rachel got some gnocci, and we both fell in love (with the food). The qualms that I did have with Rome are immediately redeemed by the food. After staying with Nicole one night, we decided to go stay with our friends Pat and Brian because there were a bunch of other kids also staying with Nicole. Pat and Brian were incredibly hospitable as well.

Time out. Haven't yet discussed the really old old things in Rome ie the reason everyone goes there. You usually think just Colosseum as the main ruins in Rome. Nien. There are ruins everywhere, just straight chillin in the middle of the street like its nbd. That's probably one of the main reasons that Rome has a small and dysfunctional metro system. They can't build underground because there are so many goddamn ruins everywhere. Thanks a lot Caesar.

straight chillin

But the main tourist attractions really were amazing and really were worth the exorbitant prices we had to pay to visit them. How is Italy in so much debt when it charges 20 euro to see a bunch of old rocks aka the Colosseum. Also, the Vatican Museum (the place with the Sistine Chapel) brings in five hundred thousand euros PER DAY. that's 500,000! Obscene. All I can say is that that sounds more like the international headquarters of Judaism and not Catholicism. Distasteful joke? Maybe. This blog is now flagged by AIPAC.

How colosseul

sweet purple shirt bro

The Colosseum was actually pretty damn cool. It's hard to imagine how they built these gigantic structures without modern construction equipment. Granted, they still had slaves back then. Too soon. But seriously, how do these things stay standing for so long? I just can't forsee something like the Sears Tower standing for thousands of years.

full view of inside the Colosseum

After visiting the Colosseum, we schlepped over to the Vatican. We did a lot of schlepping in Rome. Definitely got a workout just from all the walking. To replace all the calories that I may have lost while schlepping, I aggressively consumed proscuito sandwiches and gellato. Yummmm. 

The Vatican was definitely an impressive place. With an income of 500,000 euro per day it damn well better be. Because I am not Catholic or even Christian or even religiously attuned, the Vatican probably did less for me than for others. However, discovering it through the historical and cultural lens was also quite powerful. Everybody knows that the only thing anyone wants to see in the Vatican museum is the Sistine Chapel. "Everybody" also includes whoever designed the museum. Thus, we found ourselves on a very dragged out walk through exhibits that weren't so interesting before arriving 45 minutes later at the Sistine Chapel. Funny thing was, they kept putting signs that said "Cappella Sistina" like it was just around the corner. Could not have been further from the truth.

Look at all dem frescoes

Famous painting with Aristotle and Socrates in it

I'm going to rag on Rome and Italy one more time. I'm not surprised that they are having huge debt problems. They simply don't work. The construction workers who were fixing the side of Pat and Brians apartment worked from approximately 8am to 9am. This was real cool especially when we had been out until 4 or 5 the previous night.

We hit up all the regular tourist sites. My favorite was probably the Trevi fountain. I of course threw in a coin. Not really sure where this tradition comes from but hey, why not

Make a Wish!

One thing that I really liked about the Trevi fountain is that they collect all the change that tourists throw in and donate it to local charities. We also visited the Spanish steps and Pantheon, some other famous Rome sites.

Spanish steps in all their glory 

view from the top of the Spanish Steps. Cool except for all the other tourists

I don't have any pictures of the Pantheon because my camera died. I swear this camera sucks. That's a story for a later time though.

Going out in Rome was a lot of fun. Pat and Brian were gracious hosts and showed us a great time around Trastevere. Rome is the most confusing place in the world. Granted, I have zero sense of direction. All the streets wind and change names every block. There is seriously no rhyme or reason to how this city was designed.

I feel like I have given Rome a bad rap in this entry. Its really not that bad. Let's just say I'm glad I don't study there for an entire semester. It also was the second half of a ten day trip. We were both real tired and definitely happy to get back to Brussels. After ten days together, Rachel and I were definitely ready to never talk to each other again. 

best friends?

Praha Round Two. City so nice we went there twice

Prepare yourself for a long-winded account of several long trips. I'm about to bust out mad blog posts. This trip occurred about two weeks ago. Again, I'm just lazy.

So the blessing and the curse of our program, if you haven't already guessed, is that we have a ton of time to travel on our own and a central location to do it from. Downside is that this is damn expensive. However, I have convinced myself that "I will never get an opportunity like this again" and that I should blow my life savings on traveling around Europe. So why the hell did Rachel and I decide to return to Prague again? We pretty much fell in love with the city the first time. A bunch of our friends live there, not to mention our favorite Czech boy Stephan!

We were smarter about our travel plans this time, no more 6 am flights requiring all night adventures through the Brussels brazil district. We arrived in Prague in the evening. It was quite refreshing having done this before and knowing what to do. This saved us some crowns (aka Czech monopoly money) because we now know you dont have to pay for public transport. Upon arrival at my friends Jon and Ari's apartment, we realized that about 20 other AU kids were also visiting Prague, staying in other various places around the city. However, our apartment complex was a nexus of raging over the five days that we spent there. Thank god we had our own space though, we might have gone crazy if we had to be around all those biddies, all the time.

Prague biddy patrol

Because I've been so lazy and did not immediately write this blog, my following account is going to be more like word vomit from the few notes that I wrote down. It's gonna end up being a long and wild ride, so hold on.

Our first night there we were convinced to go out to the bar. It was real nice seeing a bunch of my friends. We ended up at this bar called Crossbar, a very Czech establishment. By very Czech I mean a lot of slavic looking dudes drinking Pilsners and dancing to hardcore electronic music in a dark room. Basically I loved it.

Our next day was spent doing mostly tourist stuff, some things that we had already hit up in our previous trip, like the lenin wall. One thing that we did not see the last time that we wanted to was the babies. We had heard a lot about David Cerny who was an anti-communist artist who designed these "babies" and even affixed them to a Soviet broadcast tower in protest against communism.

Babies on the ground

Babies on the tower

Onto more Czech attractions. This thing called a train bar. Now use your imagine as to what a train bar could be. Here's the answer. It's a bar where your drinks are delivered by train. Boom.

Choo Choo! Pilsner coming through!

As was previously mentioned, fried cheese is one of the most amazing things about Prague. I consumed four over the course of five days. Load that up with some saurkraut and curry ketchup. Explosion in my mouth.

Fried cheese 4/4

Now in the states, halloween is a special time for us college kids. Particularly girls. It is the one night where you can dress like a total whore and not get judged for it, in fact, it's encouraged. On the whole, I was disappointed that this trend has not made its way over to the Czech Republic. Women were relatively clad at this club we went to, despite the fact that the event was named "Bloody Sexy Halloween". We actually had a lot of fun, the DJ at the club played a lot of our favorite hits and we danced the night away.

We recovered the following morning with a great spot named Bohemian Bagels. Pretty much the only place to get Bagels in Prague and damn they were good. That day we visited the old jewish cemetery which was certainly a powerful experience. The jewish minority in Prague was given this plot of land for their cemetery and has been burying people there since the 15th century. Thus, the cemetery is many layers high with an estimated 100,000 people buried in this tiny plot of land. The density of the headstones is astonishing.

Another thing about the Jewish cemetery. Hitler did not destroy it (or any of Prague) during WWII because he wanted Prague to be his capitol and also a memorial to the Jews as the "race that used to be". Dick move.

Once my boys Jon and Ari returned from their wild weekend in Copenhagen, we had a great time just relaxing with them and catching up. Rachel got real domestic and cooked some delicious meals. In order to do some cooking, however, we needed to go grocery shopping. Never have I ever been grocery shopping where I cannot understand one word of food labeling. Now, this was fine when were buying pickles or chicken. But when it came to selecting a spice packet, we settled for the one with the word 'Mexico' in it.

Almost done, just a couple more things that I gotta tell yall about in Prague. Rachel, my boy James, and I visited this museum about controversial photography. While as some of you may know, this is not exactly right down my alley. However, it turned out to be awesome and I feel more cultured because of it. It illustrated the progression of legal issues in photography, allowing me to nerd out a little bit.

I mentioned my boy James. Well apparently he lived in Prague for a short time when he was a wee little boy and his babysitter from that era still lived in Prague. Not only did this babysitter still live in Prague, he opened up a successful restaurant and invited us there for dinner one night. But he went even further. Gave us discounts on our food, free drinks, including this shot of something that tasted like pure christmas. Amazing!

This one park that we visited was actually a highlight of this leg of the trip. Besides Rachel stepping in dog poop, it was great to get back into some resemblance of nature and shrubbery. Rachel took some nice senior portraits of me with her big fancy smancy camera. We played with some ducks and just walked around taking in all the fall colors. Am I gay? No, this park was just cool.

Questionable

All in all, a baller five days in Prague, doing it for the second time. We then struck out for Rome, where our trip seemed to take a turn for the worse...BUM BUM BUM

Ms Frizzle's Magic School Bus- part 1

So this is a very backlogged account. This trip occurred approximately two weeks ago but, due to aforementioned exams and a 10 day jaunt through europe, has not yet been immortalized into history.

Coincidentally, this adventure began on perhaps the most important day of a young boy's life: his 21st birthday. Now, in the United States, the 21st birthday is the best day of your life that you never remember. It usually involves drinking a little or a lot too much and then waking up telling yourself you will never drink again, ironically. This particular 21st birthday began at 730 am with shots...Ok I lied about the shots. It did begin at 730 with me waking up, putting on a fresh suit and heading off to my internship. The next 8 hours were spent researching the Russian nuclear industry, dicking around on facebook, and going out to a classic lunch at Steve Snack. So 5pm rolls around and it's time to party right? Wrong. Time to book it back home and head back to the bus station to meet the other 26 students, our teacher, and our badass bus driver to begin our five day trip.

We arrived in Luxembourg (the city, which also happens to be the name of the country) that evening around 11 and just hit the sack from there. We had to be up early the next day for some more educational adventures. So, I ended my 21st birthday in Luxembourg. Not many Americans can say that.

The next day we again discovered the wonders of European hotel breakfasts. Every kind of juice imaginable, eggs, meat, breads, caprese salad, pancakes, the list goes on. Definitely better than the what us Americans refer to as the continental breakfast. After stuffing ourselves with that and packing extra for lunch, we embarked for the European Court of Justice. While, yes, I find justice interesting, watching 2.5 hours of minutae debate over the competition of the royalty collection industry is boring as shit. I nearly fell asleep several times and would have if not for the man who watches everyone in the audience and makes sure they dont fall asleep. Seriously, if you need to pay someone to do that, you need to get some sexier cases. This court was nothing like Law and Order. After the case, we got some lectures from court employees about the role of the Advocate General and the General Court. This wasn't as much of a snoozer.

Following our immersion into European justice, Jerry (our professor) immersed into the landscape of Luxembourg city, educating us on the Luxembourgish language, the immense wealth of the Luxembourgish people, and the history of Luxembourg, mostly in the context of the two world wars. These "Jerry tours" are something I really have come to appreciate. He's extremely knowledgeable about everywhere we go and I definitely would not be having the same abroad experience without him. I pulled a rookie move yet again, forgetting my camera so no original pics of Luxembourg. O well. That night, I attempted to celebrate my 21st birthday with a drink. We had a few and then turned in. However, I recently found out that I will be accompanying my dad and uncle to Las Vegas upon my return to the States. Looks like I will truly get a legit 21st celebration with some of my best bros.

Next day we departed for Strasbourg, France. On the way we saw a few sites. An American World War II cemetery where General George S. Patton is buried. Pour one out for one's homies. But seriously, we approached the cemetery in misty and brisk weather. All of a sudden my American pride and a bit of homesickness returned. Through the mist I saw an old man with his army cap on stand before Patton's grave and give him a salute. This choked me up a bit. The cemetery was extremely powerful. After that we also visited Schengen, Luxembourg (an intersection of France, Luxembourg, and Germany), as well as an allied bunker that was part of the Maginot line.

Strasbourg is the site of the European Union Parliament's plenary sessions. I won't go into this, but it's French people being stubborn and demanding that they get some slice of the EU pie even though it makes a million times more sense to just keep everything in Brussels. We didn't actually see the parliament building but we did hit up The Council of Europe and the European Court of Human Rights. Finally, I remembered my camera so if you've made it this far reading, here's some pics to break up the monotony.

Strasbourg: The intersection of French and German culture

Astronomical clock inside Notre Dame de Strasbourg. The most physics exposure I've gotten thus far

The Council of Europe was impressive. At least the facilities were. In my opinion, CoE is a bygone institution that set the foundation for the EU but really doesn't do anything anymore. It passes non-binding resolutions on human rights within Europe. Important, but I'm not sure that you need a whole separate institution and a multi million euro building to do this.

Chamber of the Council of Europe

Another complaint about the Council of Europe. Aesthetics. One of the rooms that we were in looked like a rainbow threw up on it. woof.

serious interior design needed

The European Court of Human Rights came next. It basically tries complaints of european (not just EU) citizens against states for human rights abuses. It has a huge backlog of cases and from what I gathered, was not very effective. Disappointing because there are still atrocious human rights abuses that still happen in Europe.

Ok, getting tired of typing here and you're getting tired of reading. But there's a lot of stuff still to mention. One- the food in Strasbourg. So dank. Having recently recovered from vegetarianism, some of my first meat-intensive meals were in Strasbourg. German sausage, ham, sauerkraut. Beautiful. The city is also beautiful. Check this sunset photo. (shoutout to my dad who loves sunsets)

  Ok, last leg of the trip, were in the clear. First, a note on our travel situation. A Mercedes bus packed with 27 college students and one professor. Some of us were at our wits end with each other by the end of the 5 days. Let's see how we survive the 11 day trip together in a few weeks. So, Trier, Germany, our last destination. Here we did not visit any institutions or do any real learning at all, which was nice. Instead we took an epic Jerry tour of the Roman ruins preserved there. Now, I was thinking pretty much the same thing you are right now. Roman ruins in Germany? That just doesn't add up. I didn't believe it either. Apparently Trier served as a capital for the Roman Empire back in the good ol days. Check these pics.

Pont Nigra, gate to the ancient Roman City

One very important thing about the Pont Nigra: While we were up on the second level of the Pont, I saw a very familiar scene. It was four young kids using their arms to spell out O-H-I-O, the classic around-the-world sign of The Ohio State University. I was so so so happy to see this. I enthusiastically yelled out O-H! and was returned with the I-O. This was one of the best moments of the trip.

ancient Roman arena in Trier

Ancient roman baths aka nudist club

How did they build this without machines?

Trier also offered us some beautiful views. Here's a rare shot featuring the mysterious author.

Upon leaving Trier, we hit up some more World War II sites including a great museum that offered perspective both from the Allied and Axis perspectives. Really makes you think about the humanity of the "enemy".

Original Sherman tank at the Battle of the Bulge Museum 

shells on shells on shells

Ok. Finish line. It was a powerful finish line, however. We visited the Ardennes forest, the site of the Battle of Bulge and saw the Allied and Axis lines. We also visited a German Battle of the Bulge cemetery. It was much different than the American cemetery, instead attempting to evoke feelings of the devastation of war. There are six names per headstone, with many only reading "a German soldier". Definitely a worthwhile and moving experience.

So, I should be writing my next blog post about my 11 day adventure to Prague and Rome soon. However, I'm all blogged out after just this one. Sorry I'm not sorry. 

Party Abroad? No, Study Abroad

For you very few consistent followers of this, you've probably noticed that a weekend has passed and I haven't updated on the crazy times I had and distasteful things I did over the weekend in another corner of Europe. What's the reason? School. I thought this was my pre-paid European vacation? Nein (as the Germans say). I got some midterm exams this week so in between watching Mad Men and stalking facebook I have to find time to study and thus not write a big post about my past adventure. Since I'm not gonna study in class, figured I'd write this preview instead

Let me give you some highlights to keep you occupied. Use your imagination:

• My 21st birthday- way less exciting than you can imagine. I'm just too European now to care about it
• long ass bus ride with all 27 kids on my program- like high school all over again
• visits to some EU institutions- sometimes cool, sometimes I fell asleep
• Roman ruins- in Germany? wtf

Journey North

Now the "travel portion" of our program is really picking up. Thankfully, that means that the school portion is significantly declining. I returned from my crazy Spanish adventure on Monday, went to my internship on Tuesday and Wednesday, and then was off again Wednesday evening.

Pause. I just mentioned my internship. I haven't really elaborated on this so far, seeing as most of the posts are just about my weekend excursions. During the week I do real work. I'm interning at this company called FORATOM which is a trade organization that represents the nuclear energy industry to the European Parliament. Basically what I'm doing is writing reports on a few issues that they are going to give to their members. No bitch work involved. According to my supervisor, that's why they hired four secretaries for an office of 12.

Play. You all want to hear about my travels, not my boring work. Here's a little bit of both. Wednesday evening we boarded a train to the Hague and then had some speakers and visits on Thursday and Friday. The highlight was on Friday we sat in on a trial at the ICC (International Criminal Court). The ICC is basically a baby court for universal human rights violations and has recently finished its first trial. The trial we observed was for Germain Katanga who recruited child soldiers in his warpath through the DRC. Best part: Katanga was actually there testifying. I sat about six feet away from this war criminal who was, I might add, dressed in a baller ass African robe sort of thing. From what I could gather, this guy was a straight g among his own people.

We also took another Jerry walking tour around the Hague. It was short, but the Hague is definitely a cool city.
 

On to the main event- Amsterdam. My past two weekends at Oktoberfest and the Barcelona had me on the tail end of a party binge that may have contributed to why I didn't rage like a maniac this time around. Conveniently, Amsterdam is perfectly situated to accomodate such a dilemma. I simply enjoyed walking around the city admiring the quaint beauty of it.

That last sentence sounded like the most innocent of activities I could possibly engage in. But hold up. In Amsterdam, walking is a liability. There are hoards of bicycles everywhere, ready to flatten any unsuspecting tourist who dares venture into the bike lane. You think the Harley Davidson biker gangs are tough? These crazy Dutch people with their oversized, outdated two wheeled cruisers are menacing.

bikes on bikes on bikes

That's not the end of it. I don't know if it's the Dutch liberal drug policy or what but we saw some people do some pretty damn wild things. Exhibit A:

He's high. Off the ground.

Needless to say, this floating dude above deserved way more than the 50 euro cents I dropped him. Most European street performers suck. This guy was legit though. Another reason why walking around Amsterdam is not an innocent activity. Hint: They are female and cost 50 euro per 20 minutes. Yessir, the red light district. Windows on windows of barely clothed prostitutes trying to tempt you out of your money. Photos are strictly prohibited, thus I have no photos. Not sure they would really be appropriate for this site though. Two funny things about the Amsterdam hos. One. They are either tapping on the glass trying to seduce you or are casually smoking a cigarette, texting, or even eating a donut. If I'm in the market for a prostitute, not sure I want one who's simultaneously shoveling down a long jon (jokesjokesjokes). Two. These hos are legit. And by legit I mean they pay taxes on every uhh hard earned euro. Combining the fact that the Netherlands is a welfare state, these poor ladies probably don't walk home with very much moolah at the end of a busy night. 

The last component of Amsterdam that requires mention. Coffeeshops. That's the stupid euphemism for weed bar. You can walk into these places (provided you look 18) and purchase pot without having to feel bad that you are fueling the Mexican drug wars. They even give you recommendations on what kind to buy. Subsidiary effect of this "legal gray area" industry: an equally as thriving munchie industry. Every kind of food you could imagine from a good old Mexican burrito to some dank Asian noodles. And everything in between. I just wonder how the city is going to stay afloat once they begin restricting tourists from coffeeshops.

One more mention. While wandering around the city looking for a museum that cost less than 10 euro (bullshit if you ask me), we wandered into something I would have never expected. Occupy Amsterdam. Exactly the same thing as Occupy Wall Street except remixed Dutch style. When I say remixed Dutch style I mean pretty much the same bs but with a funny accent and way more bikes. I wish the site would let me upload this video clip I have of a Dutch guy arguing that the "1%" gains all their power by letting the asians (pronounced ay-see-ans) take all the Dutch peoples' jobs. Je ne sais pas.

I don't understand why anyone would complain about living in the Netherlands

Je ne sais pas 

Nice costume, bro

This is how I view the "Occupy" series of protests. Exactly how I view the "Jaws" series of movies. The first one was cool, the rest were a failed effort and really sucked. But they all were unrealistic. A 25 ft shark in New Jersey? come on.

Also, I turned 21 today. That doesn't mean shit here in Europe. Guess what I'm doing for my birthday? Well, I intern from 9-5 then board a bus for Luxembourg. How many Americans turn 21 in Luxembourg though?

A Sensational Weekend in Barcelona

What do you think of when you think of Barcelona? City of the Olympics, paella, sangria, beaches? No. It is definitely the City of tourists. Now, yes, I was most definitely a tourist with my city map, guided walking tours, and eternal fear of pickpockets, but I was a hip, cool tourist under the age of 60 who made the conscious decision to wear clothes on the beach.

Typical Barcelona beachgoers. The girls named the white haired one "Mr. Elephant". Not saying why

We arrived in Barca on Friday afternoon. Unlike many European cities, you actually have to pay for the metro service; this ended being an annoying extra expense the entire weekend. Our hostel was a few blocks from the water (great location!) but its door was akin to a military bunker. This worried us at first but we quickly learned we were in a very safe neighborhood. I guess the 8 inches of steel was just for aesthetics. The hostel was wonderful, the older spanish woman who ran it treated everyone like her children and directed us to all the best restaurants, bars, stores, and metro stops no matter what we wanted to do. The free although tiny breakfast in the morning was nice too.

Friday night we went out with the majority of the AU students who were in Barcelona that weekend. This was about 20. Yeah, a lot. After aggressively pregaming in our hostel kitchen, we met up with everyone at this stock market bar. Everyone in the bar was American; I didn't really mind though. So a stock market bar, what the heck is that? It's actually a cool concept. As people buy drinks, the drink's stock goes up and others go down. Drink prices are always fluctuating which makes drinking a little more exciting and interactive. Craziest part was, however, I turn around and who do I see but a girl from my high school graduating class. Crazy coincidence but it was nice to talk for a while and catch up. On Friday I also ate my first ever Spanish paella. As a "kind of vegetarian but still loves fish" person, this was my jam.

In terms of sites, we saw a fair amount. Friday we saw the Parc Guell, the infamous maze of sculpture and architecture that could have only been created by someone on hallucinogenic drugs. It truly is an amazing feat of architecture, however, incorporating natural landscape along with beautiful mosaic art (shout out to my momma, the mosaic queen). As we approached the park, the sun was setting, a storm was coming in off the water, and the park was rather lonely. A lone man was playing a solemn and eery number on the violin. It was the most surreal experience I've had in a long time. Unfortunately, I did not bring my camera. This forced us to return to the park the next day avec le camera. Just our luck, the sunny Saturday afternoon was packed with tourists so not quite the same effect in my pictures.

  

Trippy yet very cool architecture in the park

Hi Jesse!

An example of the mosaic art

Before Parc Guell round deux on Saturday, we took a free walking tour of the city titled "Gaudi tour". Gaudi is the messed up dude that designed Parc Guell a long with anything else famous and touristy in Barcelona. This dude used to only eat lettuce dipped in milk and would use stillborn fetuses for sculpture cast models. But these days you gotta do something crazy to get famous. Gaudi's pretty much a 19th century Charlie Sheen. On this walking tour we saw a bunch of Gaudi's other works including some wavy buildings as well as the Sagrada Familia, a really big ass church. When I say big ass church I mean BIG ASS church. I was standing relatively far away from the base and couldn't even see the top of the tower.

Wavy apartments. Above: The HUGE Sagrada Familia and another Gaudi Building

Unfortunately, we didn't go into the Sagrada Familia. I heard that it was amazing, though. However, a 14 euro pricetag and a 60 min wait at the end of a long walking tour didn't sound too appealing. Speaking of the euro, I'm kind of pissed that it's rebounding from its dive in value vs the dollar. I say let Greece go bankrupt and I'll reap the benefits of living in Europe for only 2 more months.

After the walking tour we were pooped and needed to get some rest for our big night. I had been waiting for this night since I departed for Europe: Sensation Barcelona. Sensation is a concert/production that travels around to a few European cities every year. Everyone dresses in all white (cred to my man Jared who let me borrow some slick white pants) and dances to house music accompanied by a cirque du soleil -esque show. Tickets were a fat 70 euro but let me tell you, it was worth every penny. Not only did I have 1 part of my main crew there with me (Jesse), I had a bunch of great friends to enjoy the night with. We made all the way from 11pm to 6 am, making sure to get our money's worth.

This isn't the best video from the night, but the site isn't letting me put up the bigger files

Anyways, Sensation was an absolute blast. After getting home around 7 am, we slept for a good 4 hours and then woke and went straight to the beach. Nothing like a nice relaxing day on the sand to recover from a hard night of partying. It was great to be on a beach again. Reminiscent of my spring break middle school days, thinking I was too cool for anything but laying and enjoying the sun. I did swim in the Mediterranean Sea, so I can check that off my list. Another thing I can check off my list is seeing dozens of naked old people. Gotta love Europe right. If only it were the hot young spanish women who enjoyed topless sunbathing. 

Beautiful views of the beach and sea. That building is the iconic W Hotel Barcelona

Sunday was a nice relaxing day. We again had paella at a little restaurant close to the beach. After unsuccessfully trying to catch a "spectacular fountain show" in Montjuic park, myself and the other boys headed out to a bar to watch some good old American football. Pats Jets game was actually a fun game to watch. Even more fun were the crazy ass Dutch dudes we met in this Irish pub. Refused by the Spanish clubs because they were wearing shorts, they proceeded to get extremely drunk at this rather pricey bar. It made for great entertainment, however. I now have friends in Amsterdam where I will be next week. First, however, our program heads off to the Hague to do some hands-on learning followed by some much needed relaxation this weekend.